May 24Member-onlyTaking Up SpaceI went for a run two hours after the call came from Curtis that his dad was gone. I covered familiar ground, sticking to the sidewalks through the neighborhood nearest the village library. I just learned (I read every single installment of the library e-newsletter, of course) a water pipe…Grief3 min readGrief3 min read
May 23Member-onlyWhat Love Made Me DoDuring a recent doomscroll session on Facebook, I pulled myself away and forced a full stop. I had a mission to fulfill. But first, the doomscrolling — I belong to a private Facebook group made up entirely of women who in some way are separated from the Mormon church. Some…Exmormon3 min readExmormon3 min read
Apr 21Member-onlyCompost and a Brown BearJuly 4 was the Saturday we buried my dad gathered around his box crying laughing honoring mostly crying no spoken out loud earth to earth ashes to ashes dust to dust although in sure and certain thoughts our hearts committed him death conveyed him fistfuls of homegrown compost bits of eggshell and strawberry hulls peeking out tossed in and down to him perspiration from our hands the only…Poetry1 min readPoetry1 min read
Apr 21Member-onlyCreatingDiscard the peels the tops and the tips Onions and carrots need chopping Not revering for their starts and stops. Disregard the mess of what’s left Behind on countertops Fallen to the…Poetry On Medium1 min readPoetry On Medium1 min read
Apr 21Member-onlyRememberingI remember believing with my whole heart Because they said so Right choices Deserve and earn blessings I remember buying into the system No option or choice given Transactional gods Reward choosing the right I remember kneeling on the hard classroom floor How to Judge 101 My skirt touching the ground Skirting the…Exmormon2 min readExmormon2 min read
Mar 28Member-onlyTofu and the Three GhostsMy immediate future is bringing me a delicious stir-fry for dinner. I started preparations for that future several hours ago when I removed the tofu from the freezer and set it on the counter to thaw. I learned the hard way that frozen tofu doesn’t actually unfreeze itself by sitting…Grief4 min readGrief4 min read
Mar 15Member-onlyBeing HumanSeen: the tears I can’t not cry whenever I speak my brother Peter’s name. Unseen: the clinch that tightens around my throat with my tears’ falling. Is this a cause and effect? or is it simply Grief’s calling card? Seen: their 59th anniversary prompt on today’s calendar. Unseen: the lump I…Grief2 min readGrief2 min read
Mar 3Member-onlyMamaI lean in to smooch her cheek, her skin is always so soft, for as long as I can remember back. And my memory plays like a record; I lift and move the needle to start at my earliest memory, which of course were her hands. I loved touching them…Mothers1 min readMothers1 min read
Feb 22Member-onlyThe Dark Side of the MoonYears ago, and for many years, my brother and I were partners in business. We always joked we stayed in business for years longer than we wanted to be in that particular line of work because we loved being together every single day. …Traumatic Brain Injury5 min readTraumatic Brain Injury5 min read
Jan 11Member-onlyEnough LoveI love myself enough to knit whenever I feel like it, even when I’m drinking. Friends let friends knit drunk or sober. And I am nothing if not a friend to myself. The best kind who loves me enough to drink orange juice with peanut butter toast because that sweet/tart…Self Love3 min readSelf Love3 min read